"Your ankles get more ice time than you do>"


  1.  “Your ankles get more ice time than you do.”
  2. “I’ve seen bigger hits in Little League.”
  3. “Hey goalie, I’ve seen coupons that save more than you.”
  4. “You’ve been scratched more than a lottery ticket.”
  5. “Does your coach know your out here”?
  6. “If you want more ice time, I hear they are hiring a Zamboni driver”?
  7. “I’ve seen better hands on a digital clock.”
  8. “Funny, I heard you were the worst player on your last team too.”
  9. “Have another donut.” (To a chubby ref – but beware – you will probably get penalized).
  10. “Buddy, you suck at hockey.”
  11. “How are you even here, are there 10 guys hurt.”?
  12.  “There is more ice in my drink than you get all year.”
  13. “You look like a pilon out there.”
  14. “You’re softer than ten-ply.” 
  15. “How do you tie your skates with no hands.”
  16. “It must be hard to eat when you have no hands.”
  17. “Hey goalie, I bet you’re good at Dodge Ball.”
  18. “Can I borrow your hands, I need a stone for my skates.”
  19. “Hey Buddy, I’ve dropped change that weighs more than you.”
  20. “I’ve heard better chirps from a dead bird”
  21. “Hey Ref, check your phone, you missed a couple calls.”
  22. “You got lit up more than a Christmas Tree.”
  23. “Hey goalie, switch to Geico so you can save more.”
  24. “I’ve seen better hands on a snake.”
  25. “I’ve seen better wheels on a boat.”